One topic that brings out a lot of heated emotions is the topic of spanking. When this topic is brought up, the emotions can quickly turn raw and any sort of logical debate goes out the window. I understand when it comes to kids, people get hyper-protective, but it does not do any good to get upset and demonize people who spank. I am here to set the record straight on why a lot of parents chose to spank, and how to make good arguments for spanking.
Pro: Let’s face it, some kids don’t respond to grounding, time out, or taking their things away. Some kids respond to spanking, I did, and I am not depressed, or angry all the time, nor I do not go around cursing my parents. All that happened to me was a few smacks on the bottom and I got over it. I did not like getting spanked, so I stopped misbehaving. Of course a lot of “studies” show that kids who were spanked are depressed, or they have anger issues. What these studies don’t have is a complete answer, from Carl Bailik in the Wall Street Journal,
“Spanking studies have a long history of fueling rather than settling the corporal punishment question. Earlier findings that spanking can contribute to aggressive behavior in children helped spur the American Academy of Pediatrics to study the issue and recommend against spanking in 1998 — a conclusion that is still disputed.” This shows that people who publish these studies are not interested in actually finishing the debate, but they just want to add fuel to the fire.”
Now it is OK to believe studies from experts, but one problem is the old logical fallacy of appeal to authority. It is OK to question studies so that the findings and research can be tilted by some people who use their platform as a soap box to further an agenda. Now, maybe sever spanking can cause emotional distress.
But what about pro spanking pediatricians? They do exist and according to Erica Goode in the NYT,
“The question of whether a swat on the behind is an acceptable method of discipline has bedeviled parents, divided pediatricians (who were split close to 50-50 in one survey) and spawned impassioned anti-spanking and pro-spanking camps.”
It is hard to know which ones to trust, but the problem with an emotional topic like spanking is, if someone was abused not spanked (there is a difference people) then they will not be fair to the topic. However, if someone can look at spanking knowing they were spanked and keep an open mind about it, then they might be a better judge on the topic and not let emotion get in the way. How can someone who has an anti-spanking agenda be fair? Since there are a lot of things that can traumatize a child, (bullying, divorce, abuse) it is too simple to blame only spanking for their depression. Maybe the parents didn’t show them enough love or something else. A good way for anti-spanking people to make good a good argument against spanking is to stop shaming people who do spank and talk listen to why a lot of parents do spank.
There is a bad misconception that the only people who spank are angry, and overworked. This is not always true and parents do not always spank just to take their anger out on a child. That is such a bad misconception since a lot of kids don’t hate their parents for spanking them, as a matter of fact a lot of them loved their mom and dad for spanking them.
I know a lot of people will not like this, but some kids respond to spanking and it is what works on them the best. Also, I know some people don’t like being spanked, but the kids don’t leave their parents and are happy and love their parents. So, this might come as a shock, but just because you are against spanking, doesn’t make the parent who spanks a child, a monster. Maybe if you talked to them instead of trying to demonize them, you might get them to change their mind or at least listen to you. Even if you are anti-spanking, lying or demonizing someone who spanks only hurts your cause. This blog is actually pro spanking because there are two sides to each story and I do respect anyone who wants to have a different opinion, but nowadays, it seems if anyone is pro spanking, or takes that view, they are monsters, child abusers and evil. It is not a simple case of black and white. According to opposing view points, ” Normal parents are not just frightened of appearing abusive; they also fear that an occasional swat to the behind can turn their little darling into a dangerously aggressive adolescent and an incorrigibly criminal adult, as the “scientific evidence” says Disciplinary Spanking.
This is why I don’t like this anti-spanking movement, they make parents fearful to even think about it. I mean, if you are against spanking, fine, but try not to put guilt onto a parent who may spank once in a while. This is getting silly and it has done nothing but making parents go underground and not tell people they are spanking their children still, but they do not tell anyone. I would rather people be honest about it. Pro or anti-spanking, you want people to be up front about it. Not beat around the bush and hide it.
One of the big talking points is how less spanking leads to less violence. Look at Sweden? But should we? From viewpoints, “Since the ban, police reports of teen violence have soared sixfold, according to Statistics Sweden. Disciplinary spanking.
Let’s say this is true, (and data does state that it is). Then that defeats the talking point of less spanking leading to a more mild and calm society. Maybe it is more than one thing (spanking) that makes people more violent. Maybe the economics was going to lead to more violence and spanking would not have had any effect. Or it might have made it better? So, maybe it is time to have an actual, and mature debate about spanking instead of demonizing parents who do it and using false data to push an agenda. Maybe some kids is what this type of punishment works on, and maybe sometimes it is needed. Maybe we need to just be more accepting instead of trying to make society into our own utopian view-point. If you do not spank and your kids are good, fine, have at it, but it is time to stop demonizing parent who do spank, and it is time to talk and maybe learn why a swat is needed sometimes.